Diamond in the Rough
There are probably an infinite amount of laws of life. Everyone knows the standard ones: integrity, honesty, faith…it can go on. Then there are the true gems. Those secrets to life that are so precious, so secret, and so craftily hidden that only the few privileged with a special vision realize they are there. This is one of those jewels, something to carry in your pocket when you don’t really understand how to go on. It takes an open mind and a receptive heart to understand. Most people don’t realize that acting stupid can benefit you in many walks of life. The doors of life will open wide if you remember the benefit of doing something stupid every day.
This may seem like an exceedingly strange concept. What could the profit in acting stupid possibly be? When most people think about the consequences, they think of rejection and abandonment. Let’s start with the basics. When you do something stupid, you are presenting yourself to the world, albeit an elaborate and slightly exaggerated version of yourself. The behavior of someone acting stupid allows others to instantly make a decision about you. There is no second-guessing, they either accept or reject you for your actions. This is a way to weed out the people that are going to be true friends from the ones that will judge you for every little thing. If a person sees your behavior and automatically dismisses you, they are judgmental and would most likely not be a good person to have in your life. A true friend will recognize your behavior for you and accept it. If you act how you truly feel and do something stupid, you will attract like-minded people that have things in common with you. They will recognize you as a kindred spirit and migrate to your circle and you will no longer be alone. Deep down, we all thrive on socializing.
Other than finding you friends, acting stupid can always present desirable qualities to prospective employers. Doing something stupid in public displays your will to take risks. Employers look for such a quality because it means that you will go out there and do what you have to do to further the company rather than just sit at your desk and follow routine every day. Acting stupid helps you build confidence, making you believe in your image of yourself rather than the image of what others think of you. It lets you embrace your inner being, including the things known as your inner child, but really could just be thought of as the ‘you’ that you hide behind a façade every day. Coming out of your shell and singing to the world solidifies your belief in who you are, not who everyone wants you to be. Those are the kind of people that employers are looking for, someone that will take a stand and pitch their own ideas, instead of just nodding and agreeing with everything the boss suggests. You make an impression when you act like this. That person looking to hire will remember you out of all the applicants, all of the “I’m smart, driven, educated, goal-oriented, and I’m very excited about what your company is doing.” people. Your entire self will be presented right from the start, rather than the boss finding out later some quality of you that they don’t want. At the end of the day, it really boils down to presenting your whole self honestly and not just your good qualities.
This last benefit is kind of a selfish one. It entirely has to do with you. Just you and how you treat yourself. Have you ever felt trapped inside your mind? There are all these things that you want to get up and do, but your brain refuses to send the right command to your nerve endings? There is a way to break free of that. Stop thinking about what everyone is going to say if you line dance in the hallway or wear a fluorescent fishnet top. Have some fun already! Get out there. The world is waiting for you, it’s proposing to you on bended knee. Just dig down deep inside and find that courage that you had in elementary school when you played Harry Potter every recess, grab hold, and yank it out of the safe we all create inside to hide the undesirable parts of ourselves. How are other people possibly going to accept you if you don’t accept yourself? There are a lot of questions to be answered and a lot of risks to be taken. It sounds like an impossible task, but it truly isn’t.
In the noble words of Nike, just do it. Stop going through a routine everyday and put some fun back into your life. There are so many amazing opportunities that lay before you if you are just willing to reach out and say “I do.” Once you open the doors of stupidity, you open the doors to friends that will love you, employers that will trust you, and a new self-confidence that shines. That confident stupidity is down there, being crushed by the pressures of everyday life. However, we all know from science class that something ugly that undergoes pressure turns into something beautiful. Your new confident self is waiting, a diamond in the rough. Dig it up, clean it off, and cut and refine that jewel until it gleams. Wear that jewel proudly and just give it a try, do something stupid every day.
Friday, February 19, 2010
Monday, February 15, 2010
Friendship part 2
This is something that can't be undone
You're so sure that he's the one
My heart is hurt and you did it
You're lucky I didn't throw a fit
Maybe you think it's no big deal
But hurts like this take a lot to heal
I'm not sure how to tell you
But one more time and we are through
What you did isn't right
Better fix it before i give up the fight
You're so sure that he's the one
My heart is hurt and you did it
You're lucky I didn't throw a fit
Maybe you think it's no big deal
But hurts like this take a lot to heal
I'm not sure how to tell you
But one more time and we are through
What you did isn't right
Better fix it before i give up the fight
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Hopeless part two
Four long weeks later, I was in the shooting range down in the bowels of the ship. The paper target teased me from afar. I squinted down the barrel of my pistol. Nothing had changed. Nothing ever changed. I was always training, working out, attending meetings, and waiting. It used to be that I would be going out on missions too, but my six month grounding was still in effect.
My ear buds in my ears, muffs safely in place to keep them protected, kept me in the zone. My lips moved silently in time with the lyrics.
A hot, bubbling sensation filled my abdomen and pain seared my throat. Enormous pressure filled my skull until I thought my head would explode. Slowly, I shoved the feelings aside until I couldn’t feel the pain.
My concentration returned to the target. I eased my finger over the smooth metal of the trigger. Ready to fire, my aim is true….
A flash of movement in the corner of my eye. I whipped around to face the intruder. The gun was pulled gently from my grip.
“Solomon,” I breathed, recognizing him. I removed the ear muffs and one ear bud. “Don’t sneak up on me like that. I could have shot you.”
“As if I would be injured by a bullet,” he retorted lightly, examining my gun. “Should a girl like you really have access to something like this?”
“I need it to protect myself when I go out on missions,” I informed him, holding out my hand to take it back. He set it aside, out of my reach.
“But you won’t be going anywhere for the next three months, correct?”
I made a face. Solomon laughed.
“It’s not funny! I hate being grounded to this cursed ship!”
“I’m sorry. It’s just that you being grounded makes you seem so normal.” He took my still outstretched hand and pulled me closer. “But you are not normal, are you?”
My lips twitched, but did not form a smile. In a move that could only be performed by an accomplished dancer, Solomon spun me into his arms. I couldn’t help it. I laughed, feeling special.
“That was impressive, Mr. Goldsmith,” I said playfully. “You’ve got skills.”
“I’ve had years of practice,” he replied easily, twirling me again for emphasis. I spun easily on my toes. “Are you a dancer, Kay?”
“I took lessons when I was little, but I don’t dance anymore. It doesn’t really benefit me.”
The music playing in my ear stopped as he took my mp3 from me. I watched him plug the device into the speakers on a nearby table and search my playlist for something appropriate. Slow, classical music started playing. Solomon took my hand again.
“Show me,” he said softly. I shook my head. “Please.
With a sigh of defeat, I closed my eyes and listened to the music. An arm encircled my waist as my feet started to move. Within seconds, we were effortlessly moving in sync. Some of the steps that seemed awkward in childhood were easy now, in this new grown-up body of mine. I couldn’t remember ever feeling so graceful.
He was watching me when I opened my eyes. I felt my cheeks flame red from the look on his face. The song ended.
“What?” I asked. We stopped dancing, but Solomon was still looking at me.
“You enjoy dancing. I’ve never seen you look serene, not even when you’re sleeping. You’ve always got that worry wrinkle.” He poked my forehead. I jumped away.
“Whatever,” I muttered, tugging at my choker, trying to untie the knot.
“You can be so bitter sometimes, Kay,” Solomon commented, gently removing the necklace. I waited.
And then pain. Pressure. He hadn’t even touched me yet. These sensations weren’t what I experienced when he bit me. My throat burned. I felt like a change was coming over me. A physical change, and a mental change. I cringed, cradling my head in my hands.
“No, make it stop. Make it stop!”
Was that pitiful, whining voice coming from my throat? Surely I would never show such weakness, especially in front of him. But it hurt. It hurt so much that I just wanted to die. Die or give in to the change in me that I had been suppressing for so long.
“What’s wrong? Kay, please calm down,” he pleaded with me. I could barely hear him. My face was wet. Was I crying? No, it was sweat.
Deep breaths. In and out. In and out. Get a grip, remember who you are, I tell myself. Tell him what you need.
“Just do it,” I managed to say through clenched teeth. “Do it now.”
Momentary confusion. He doesn’t understand or doesn’t want to. And then he softly brushed my hair aside. My heart pounded in my chest.
Sharp pain. Being held tenderly. A warm body pressed against mine. Dull pounding. Dizzy. The sensation of blood being drank from my body, rushing out of my skin.
This time I didn’t pass out. He was being careful. The moment I got dizzy, he was done. I got ready to step away, but Solomon swept me off my feet and carried me bridal style over to the table. My neck still bled sluggishly.
“Put me down,” I ordered. He set me down on the table so our faces were level.
“Do you feel better?” he asked. I nodded. “Good. What happened to you. You looked so…”
“Helpless. Weak. Pathetic,” I supplied.
“Is that what you think? Kay, please let me finish. You looked so scared.”
“Bullshit!” I exclaimed. “I wasn’t scared and you are very wrong to think I was.”
“You’re not going to tell me, are you?”
I shook my head. It was my secret, my problem, and my burden. He didn’t need to know.
“I wish you would trust me. Well Kay, I should go. Please be careful. You can be so reckless.”
“I’ll be good,” I promised. “Don’t forget me.”
I left first, running up to my room. The door opened before I turned the knob. It was David, waiting for me to come back from target practice. His eyes darted from my shocked face to the choker in my hand, and finally to the bite marks on my neck.
I couldn’t move. I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t form a logical thought in my head. Something told me that he couldn’t either. We stared at each other, waiting for the pieces to fall into place, for the electronic message to travel across our nerve endings.
“David?” I managed to say. “Take a deep breath. It’s not as bad as you think.”
“Not as bad as I think? How can it be not be as bad as I think? You…is this what you have been keeping from us?”
I couldn’t say anything. My mind was blank; my body numb. David gripped my wrist tightly. I reacted instantly.
“No, David! Don’t tell Joel! Please, please, I’m begging you!”
My efforts yielded me nothing. I was dragged to my guardian’s office. My free hand came up to cover the marks although I knew it was useless. David pushed me forward towards Joel’s desk.
“Tell Joel, Kaelin.”
The fight that followed isn’t even worth mentioning. Joel and David took turns yelling at me, I yelled back. I cried, but didn’t show any weakness. Standing defiant, I told them that they couldn’t keep Solomon and I apart. It’s funny. To an outsider, it would sound like we were arguing about an older boy I was seeing.
Back to my room. Collapse into bed. Numb. Close my eyes. Sleep.
My ear buds in my ears, muffs safely in place to keep them protected, kept me in the zone. My lips moved silently in time with the lyrics.
A hot, bubbling sensation filled my abdomen and pain seared my throat. Enormous pressure filled my skull until I thought my head would explode. Slowly, I shoved the feelings aside until I couldn’t feel the pain.
My concentration returned to the target. I eased my finger over the smooth metal of the trigger. Ready to fire, my aim is true….
A flash of movement in the corner of my eye. I whipped around to face the intruder. The gun was pulled gently from my grip.
“Solomon,” I breathed, recognizing him. I removed the ear muffs and one ear bud. “Don’t sneak up on me like that. I could have shot you.”
“As if I would be injured by a bullet,” he retorted lightly, examining my gun. “Should a girl like you really have access to something like this?”
“I need it to protect myself when I go out on missions,” I informed him, holding out my hand to take it back. He set it aside, out of my reach.
“But you won’t be going anywhere for the next three months, correct?”
I made a face. Solomon laughed.
“It’s not funny! I hate being grounded to this cursed ship!”
“I’m sorry. It’s just that you being grounded makes you seem so normal.” He took my still outstretched hand and pulled me closer. “But you are not normal, are you?”
My lips twitched, but did not form a smile. In a move that could only be performed by an accomplished dancer, Solomon spun me into his arms. I couldn’t help it. I laughed, feeling special.
“That was impressive, Mr. Goldsmith,” I said playfully. “You’ve got skills.”
“I’ve had years of practice,” he replied easily, twirling me again for emphasis. I spun easily on my toes. “Are you a dancer, Kay?”
“I took lessons when I was little, but I don’t dance anymore. It doesn’t really benefit me.”
The music playing in my ear stopped as he took my mp3 from me. I watched him plug the device into the speakers on a nearby table and search my playlist for something appropriate. Slow, classical music started playing. Solomon took my hand again.
“Show me,” he said softly. I shook my head. “Please.
With a sigh of defeat, I closed my eyes and listened to the music. An arm encircled my waist as my feet started to move. Within seconds, we were effortlessly moving in sync. Some of the steps that seemed awkward in childhood were easy now, in this new grown-up body of mine. I couldn’t remember ever feeling so graceful.
He was watching me when I opened my eyes. I felt my cheeks flame red from the look on his face. The song ended.
“What?” I asked. We stopped dancing, but Solomon was still looking at me.
“You enjoy dancing. I’ve never seen you look serene, not even when you’re sleeping. You’ve always got that worry wrinkle.” He poked my forehead. I jumped away.
“Whatever,” I muttered, tugging at my choker, trying to untie the knot.
“You can be so bitter sometimes, Kay,” Solomon commented, gently removing the necklace. I waited.
And then pain. Pressure. He hadn’t even touched me yet. These sensations weren’t what I experienced when he bit me. My throat burned. I felt like a change was coming over me. A physical change, and a mental change. I cringed, cradling my head in my hands.
“No, make it stop. Make it stop!”
Was that pitiful, whining voice coming from my throat? Surely I would never show such weakness, especially in front of him. But it hurt. It hurt so much that I just wanted to die. Die or give in to the change in me that I had been suppressing for so long.
“What’s wrong? Kay, please calm down,” he pleaded with me. I could barely hear him. My face was wet. Was I crying? No, it was sweat.
Deep breaths. In and out. In and out. Get a grip, remember who you are, I tell myself. Tell him what you need.
“Just do it,” I managed to say through clenched teeth. “Do it now.”
Momentary confusion. He doesn’t understand or doesn’t want to. And then he softly brushed my hair aside. My heart pounded in my chest.
Sharp pain. Being held tenderly. A warm body pressed against mine. Dull pounding. Dizzy. The sensation of blood being drank from my body, rushing out of my skin.
This time I didn’t pass out. He was being careful. The moment I got dizzy, he was done. I got ready to step away, but Solomon swept me off my feet and carried me bridal style over to the table. My neck still bled sluggishly.
“Put me down,” I ordered. He set me down on the table so our faces were level.
“Do you feel better?” he asked. I nodded. “Good. What happened to you. You looked so…”
“Helpless. Weak. Pathetic,” I supplied.
“Is that what you think? Kay, please let me finish. You looked so scared.”
“Bullshit!” I exclaimed. “I wasn’t scared and you are very wrong to think I was.”
“You’re not going to tell me, are you?”
I shook my head. It was my secret, my problem, and my burden. He didn’t need to know.
“I wish you would trust me. Well Kay, I should go. Please be careful. You can be so reckless.”
“I’ll be good,” I promised. “Don’t forget me.”
I left first, running up to my room. The door opened before I turned the knob. It was David, waiting for me to come back from target practice. His eyes darted from my shocked face to the choker in my hand, and finally to the bite marks on my neck.
I couldn’t move. I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t form a logical thought in my head. Something told me that he couldn’t either. We stared at each other, waiting for the pieces to fall into place, for the electronic message to travel across our nerve endings.
“David?” I managed to say. “Take a deep breath. It’s not as bad as you think.”
“Not as bad as I think? How can it be not be as bad as I think? You…is this what you have been keeping from us?”
I couldn’t say anything. My mind was blank; my body numb. David gripped my wrist tightly. I reacted instantly.
“No, David! Don’t tell Joel! Please, please, I’m begging you!”
My efforts yielded me nothing. I was dragged to my guardian’s office. My free hand came up to cover the marks although I knew it was useless. David pushed me forward towards Joel’s desk.
“Tell Joel, Kaelin.”
The fight that followed isn’t even worth mentioning. Joel and David took turns yelling at me, I yelled back. I cried, but didn’t show any weakness. Standing defiant, I told them that they couldn’t keep Solomon and I apart. It’s funny. To an outsider, it would sound like we were arguing about an older boy I was seeing.
Back to my room. Collapse into bed. Numb. Close my eyes. Sleep.
Hopeless (Blood+ fanfic)
lood+It all started with an over-eager twelve year old on an everlasting quest to prove herself. It started with her search for her place in the world. It started with a girl looking, always looking, for acceptance and a feeling that she had lost and desperately wanted back. It started with the prick of a needle.
My sixteenth birthday came and went without celebration. That’s okay. I didn’t want to celebrate anyway. It just reminded me that time was still passing. I was still getting older. It had been another year since the tragedy at Italy, another year since the event that had sealed my fate. I didn’t care for my birthday much. I didn’t care for anything much.
My name is Kaelin Taralynn Lizzio, Kay for short, and I am sixteen years old. I was born in Italy, in a small town nestled between mountains and the sea. Not that you care. I exist in a world that you will never see, the victim of a secret history that you will never know.
At least I hope you will never know it.
I stood at the rail of the ship, watching the sunset. The Red Shield’s headquarters is on this ship, or should I say is the ship. The Red Shield is the organization that I joined after leaving Italy. We have one goal. To eradicate chiropterans and protect the innocent citizens of the world. Chiropterans are disgusting, vile creatures. They drink the blood of the living. They are mindless, without concepts of mercy or self-control. The Red Shield wants to rid the Earth of chiropterans and in order to do that, we must exterminate Diva.
The sun sank slowly into the horizon, a beautiful sight. I had watched the sun set as often as possible since I was a little girl. Mama used to scold me and say that I would ruin my eyesight. There was just something so calming about the sun going down at the end of the day.
When I couldn’t see the sun anymore, I glanced at my watch and sighed. It looked like another day would go by without a visit from him. How much longer could I last?
“Kay?”
The sound startled me, though it was my expected visitor that said my name. Still, my heart skipped a beat. I did a quick one-eighty, keeping my face impassive, like I didn’t really care that he had shown. The worst part is that I did care. A lot.
Even with my loathing of his kind, he was the most gorgeous man I had ever laid eyes on. I knew my eyes were steely grey as I looked him over, like I was seeing him for the first time.
“Solomon, I was starting to wonder if you had forgotten me,” I said dryly. My hands clenched to stop them from shaking. “Six weeks?”
He laughed and reached up to brush my short raven hair out of my eyes. Inexplicable joy shined out of his sea green eyes. I saw that joy often, but I never understood it. Solomon looked spotless as always in a white suit with blue striped tie. We must have looked comical, every inch of him the young successful businessman, me, the tomboy who didn’t care in my tank top and jeans. My hand twitched, wanting to reach up and run my fingers through his blond curls. I shoved the traitorous hand in my pocket.
“I could never forget you and what you do for me, dear. I’m just busy, as are you. Or am I mistaken and Saya has not come aboard the ship after what happened at the Zoo?” Solomon said softly, the same hand that had been playing with my hair moving to brush the side of my neck and untie the wide ribbon choker I wore there. The heavy silver pendant fell into my hand.
At this particular point in my life, that silver heart represented all that I was. It was a gift from my foster father, Joel, for my fourteenth birthday. The silver heart locket was very old-fashioned, like something straight out of the eighteenth century. Joel know of my love for history when he picked it out. The front was adorned with red crystals, the remains of defeated chiropterans. These crystals are what marked me as a member of the Red Shield, my proof to all doubters that I belonged to the organization. Inside were pictures of the two people I missed most, my mother and my older brother, Darin. Their smiles shined at me through the glass, but failed to warm my stubborn heart.
A light touch brought me back to my senses, taking my mind off the past. My family wasn’t important anymore. His fingers skimmed my sensitive, pale skin, sending pleasant tingles down my spine. My heart rate sped up in anticipation. His breath was hot against my neck.
“Are you ready?” he asked, hands gently gripping my shoulders. I felt all of my muscles tighten. Solomon sighed behind me. His strong arms wrapped around my shoulders in a hug, shocking me with sudden affection. “Kay, we go through this every time. How often must I tell you not to tense up?”
He spoke soothingly in my ear, filling me with conflicting emotions. My first instinct was to pull away. My hands went up to try and break his contact with my body, but moments later they dropped.
“Just relax. Please, Kay, it will go much easier on you.”
It seemed like he had discovered my weakness. For some reason my iron will always crumbled under one utterance of ‘please’, but only when it came from Solomon’s lips. The tension in my muscles melted.
“That’s better,” he muttered, touching his lips to my skin. I closed my eyes. My pulse pounded in my ears.
Sharp pain. Being held tenderly. A warm body pressed against mine. Dull pounding. Dizzy. The sensation of blood being drank from my body, rushing out of my skin.
A wave of blackness starts rolling towards my mind, followed by a wave of relief. The world went dark.
The other feelings had faded by the time I woke, except I was still being held gently in someone’s arms. My fingers explored the skin on my neck until I located the two small puncture wounds. The bleeding had stopped, but it still hurt.
“So, you’re awake?”
The query was soft, in case I was still sleeping. My head started to clear the clouds of sleep. We were sitting against the ships rail. Well, Solomon leaned against it, supporting me in his arms. My eyes opened to soft moonlight and twinkling stars. Night had fallen while I slept. His embrace was so warm that I didn’t move, his arms around me protecting me from the chill of the night.
“Kay?” His tone was slightly worried. I could tell that he knew I was awake. “Are you feeling all right? I panicked when you passed out. I’m so rough on you.”
I felt fingers in my hair.
“I remember a time when if I fainted you would just leave me laying on the deck in an unconscious heap,” I said quietly, shifting to looked up at his serene face. “That happened, what? Once? Twice?”
“I would appreciate it if you wouldn’t mention things like that, Kaelin,” Solomon scolded gently. “We have moved past those times. Why don’t we change the subject?”
“To what?”
“Why do you let me do this to you? Let me hurt you and take your blood when it doesn’t seem to benefit you any?”
I jumped up like I was sitting on fire. My hands twisted nervously behind my back. This was the question that I had been avoiding for months.
“That’s not relevant,” I said, and then cursed my stupidity. I could never win a logic battle with Solomon. He could convince me that the world was flat if he wanted to.
“Kay, you always get so jumpy when I bring it up. I’ve thought and thought about it, brewed up and then discarded dozens of theories,” he said, getting to his feet. I took a step back automatically, trying to look innocent. Solomon wasn’t going for the act. “You know that doesn’t work on me. Kay, I have to know.”
“You don’t have to know anything. Can’t you just accept it, no strings attached?”
“No.” Solomon brushed my hair out of my face again. I shook my head just so it would fall back in place. He stubbornly fixed it again. “This is important. You are important.”
“Trust me, I’m not nearly as important as you think,” I said as the alarm bells started to ring all around us. My face twisted into a grimace. We both knew what that meant.
“Important enough to put the whole ship on alert, it would seem. You underestimate yourself all the time, dear.” He grinned and got ready to depart, putting one pale hand on the rail.
I glanced over my shoulder to watch for soldiers.
“No, Joel is just para—” I turned back to look at him. Solomon had gone. “—noid.”
“Soon,” a phantom voice whispered. Although it might have been my imagination. I tied the ribbon around my neck, slipped my mp3 out of my pocket, put in my headphones, and trotted away to assure everyone that I was alive and well.
Sighs of relief echoed around me when I arrived in Joel’s office. I rolled my eyes. My guardian had put everyone into a panic for nothing.
“Kay, where have you been?” Joel asked anxiously, blue eyes scanning me for injuries or signs of distress.
“On the port deck, watching the sun set,” I lied easily. “It’s not my fault that your soldiers don’t look everywhere when you tell them to.
“Why didn’t you answer your phone?”
“I left it in my room so you wouldn’t bother me while I was relaxing. We go through this every time, Joel, and it’s getting a little old. I’m not a child anymore. Doesn’t this mean that I’m considered an adult in my duty to the Red Shield?” I touched the locket at my throat.
Joel sighed and said, “Your duty and your station in life as a child or an adult are two separate subjects that are to be discussed later.”
I knew a dismissal when I heard one. Instead of arguing, I returned to my room for the night. The walls were bare of decoration. A few framed photos stood on my desk. My closet held very little color, except for a few articles that I never wore. Those were presents from before people got to know me. I plugged my mp3 into my speakers and let my music fill my ears. Now I only had to wait for him to come back. Until then, I was empty.
My sixteenth birthday came and went without celebration. That’s okay. I didn’t want to celebrate anyway. It just reminded me that time was still passing. I was still getting older. It had been another year since the tragedy at Italy, another year since the event that had sealed my fate. I didn’t care for my birthday much. I didn’t care for anything much.
My name is Kaelin Taralynn Lizzio, Kay for short, and I am sixteen years old. I was born in Italy, in a small town nestled between mountains and the sea. Not that you care. I exist in a world that you will never see, the victim of a secret history that you will never know.
At least I hope you will never know it.
I stood at the rail of the ship, watching the sunset. The Red Shield’s headquarters is on this ship, or should I say is the ship. The Red Shield is the organization that I joined after leaving Italy. We have one goal. To eradicate chiropterans and protect the innocent citizens of the world. Chiropterans are disgusting, vile creatures. They drink the blood of the living. They are mindless, without concepts of mercy or self-control. The Red Shield wants to rid the Earth of chiropterans and in order to do that, we must exterminate Diva.
The sun sank slowly into the horizon, a beautiful sight. I had watched the sun set as often as possible since I was a little girl. Mama used to scold me and say that I would ruin my eyesight. There was just something so calming about the sun going down at the end of the day.
When I couldn’t see the sun anymore, I glanced at my watch and sighed. It looked like another day would go by without a visit from him. How much longer could I last?
“Kay?”
The sound startled me, though it was my expected visitor that said my name. Still, my heart skipped a beat. I did a quick one-eighty, keeping my face impassive, like I didn’t really care that he had shown. The worst part is that I did care. A lot.
Even with my loathing of his kind, he was the most gorgeous man I had ever laid eyes on. I knew my eyes were steely grey as I looked him over, like I was seeing him for the first time.
“Solomon, I was starting to wonder if you had forgotten me,” I said dryly. My hands clenched to stop them from shaking. “Six weeks?”
He laughed and reached up to brush my short raven hair out of my eyes. Inexplicable joy shined out of his sea green eyes. I saw that joy often, but I never understood it. Solomon looked spotless as always in a white suit with blue striped tie. We must have looked comical, every inch of him the young successful businessman, me, the tomboy who didn’t care in my tank top and jeans. My hand twitched, wanting to reach up and run my fingers through his blond curls. I shoved the traitorous hand in my pocket.
“I could never forget you and what you do for me, dear. I’m just busy, as are you. Or am I mistaken and Saya has not come aboard the ship after what happened at the Zoo?” Solomon said softly, the same hand that had been playing with my hair moving to brush the side of my neck and untie the wide ribbon choker I wore there. The heavy silver pendant fell into my hand.
At this particular point in my life, that silver heart represented all that I was. It was a gift from my foster father, Joel, for my fourteenth birthday. The silver heart locket was very old-fashioned, like something straight out of the eighteenth century. Joel know of my love for history when he picked it out. The front was adorned with red crystals, the remains of defeated chiropterans. These crystals are what marked me as a member of the Red Shield, my proof to all doubters that I belonged to the organization. Inside were pictures of the two people I missed most, my mother and my older brother, Darin. Their smiles shined at me through the glass, but failed to warm my stubborn heart.
A light touch brought me back to my senses, taking my mind off the past. My family wasn’t important anymore. His fingers skimmed my sensitive, pale skin, sending pleasant tingles down my spine. My heart rate sped up in anticipation. His breath was hot against my neck.
“Are you ready?” he asked, hands gently gripping my shoulders. I felt all of my muscles tighten. Solomon sighed behind me. His strong arms wrapped around my shoulders in a hug, shocking me with sudden affection. “Kay, we go through this every time. How often must I tell you not to tense up?”
He spoke soothingly in my ear, filling me with conflicting emotions. My first instinct was to pull away. My hands went up to try and break his contact with my body, but moments later they dropped.
“Just relax. Please, Kay, it will go much easier on you.”
It seemed like he had discovered my weakness. For some reason my iron will always crumbled under one utterance of ‘please’, but only when it came from Solomon’s lips. The tension in my muscles melted.
“That’s better,” he muttered, touching his lips to my skin. I closed my eyes. My pulse pounded in my ears.
Sharp pain. Being held tenderly. A warm body pressed against mine. Dull pounding. Dizzy. The sensation of blood being drank from my body, rushing out of my skin.
A wave of blackness starts rolling towards my mind, followed by a wave of relief. The world went dark.
The other feelings had faded by the time I woke, except I was still being held gently in someone’s arms. My fingers explored the skin on my neck until I located the two small puncture wounds. The bleeding had stopped, but it still hurt.
“So, you’re awake?”
The query was soft, in case I was still sleeping. My head started to clear the clouds of sleep. We were sitting against the ships rail. Well, Solomon leaned against it, supporting me in his arms. My eyes opened to soft moonlight and twinkling stars. Night had fallen while I slept. His embrace was so warm that I didn’t move, his arms around me protecting me from the chill of the night.
“Kay?” His tone was slightly worried. I could tell that he knew I was awake. “Are you feeling all right? I panicked when you passed out. I’m so rough on you.”
I felt fingers in my hair.
“I remember a time when if I fainted you would just leave me laying on the deck in an unconscious heap,” I said quietly, shifting to looked up at his serene face. “That happened, what? Once? Twice?”
“I would appreciate it if you wouldn’t mention things like that, Kaelin,” Solomon scolded gently. “We have moved past those times. Why don’t we change the subject?”
“To what?”
“Why do you let me do this to you? Let me hurt you and take your blood when it doesn’t seem to benefit you any?”
I jumped up like I was sitting on fire. My hands twisted nervously behind my back. This was the question that I had been avoiding for months.
“That’s not relevant,” I said, and then cursed my stupidity. I could never win a logic battle with Solomon. He could convince me that the world was flat if he wanted to.
“Kay, you always get so jumpy when I bring it up. I’ve thought and thought about it, brewed up and then discarded dozens of theories,” he said, getting to his feet. I took a step back automatically, trying to look innocent. Solomon wasn’t going for the act. “You know that doesn’t work on me. Kay, I have to know.”
“You don’t have to know anything. Can’t you just accept it, no strings attached?”
“No.” Solomon brushed my hair out of my face again. I shook my head just so it would fall back in place. He stubbornly fixed it again. “This is important. You are important.”
“Trust me, I’m not nearly as important as you think,” I said as the alarm bells started to ring all around us. My face twisted into a grimace. We both knew what that meant.
“Important enough to put the whole ship on alert, it would seem. You underestimate yourself all the time, dear.” He grinned and got ready to depart, putting one pale hand on the rail.
I glanced over my shoulder to watch for soldiers.
“No, Joel is just para—” I turned back to look at him. Solomon had gone. “—noid.”
“Soon,” a phantom voice whispered. Although it might have been my imagination. I tied the ribbon around my neck, slipped my mp3 out of my pocket, put in my headphones, and trotted away to assure everyone that I was alive and well.
Sighs of relief echoed around me when I arrived in Joel’s office. I rolled my eyes. My guardian had put everyone into a panic for nothing.
“Kay, where have you been?” Joel asked anxiously, blue eyes scanning me for injuries or signs of distress.
“On the port deck, watching the sun set,” I lied easily. “It’s not my fault that your soldiers don’t look everywhere when you tell them to.
“Why didn’t you answer your phone?”
“I left it in my room so you wouldn’t bother me while I was relaxing. We go through this every time, Joel, and it’s getting a little old. I’m not a child anymore. Doesn’t this mean that I’m considered an adult in my duty to the Red Shield?” I touched the locket at my throat.
Joel sighed and said, “Your duty and your station in life as a child or an adult are two separate subjects that are to be discussed later.”
I knew a dismissal when I heard one. Instead of arguing, I returned to my room for the night. The walls were bare of decoration. A few framed photos stood on my desk. My closet held very little color, except for a few articles that I never wore. Those were presents from before people got to know me. I plugged my mp3 into my speakers and let my music fill my ears. Now I only had to wait for him to come back. Until then, I was empty.
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